Creating Routines With Your Baby
Predictable routines are important for both infants and their caregivers. In their first year of life there are many new and unpredictable events; routines provide consistency for your baby which increases their security and comfort. In fact, children of all ages thrive when there are predictable routines.
WHY ARE ROUTINES IMPORTANT?
Routines help your baby to feel safe, understand what is happening to and around them, learn that their needs will be met, and build trust. When caregivers follow a routine consistently, the infant learns what to expect. Children without consistent routines, are often fussier, as the unpredictability can compromise their sense of security and understanding of the world around them. Routines can increase your baby’s confidence and give you more peace of mind as well.
WHAT’S THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A SCHEDULE AND A ROUTINE?
A schedule says your child should eat at 9:00 am, noon, 3:00 pm, and so forth. A routine is what you do at each of those feedings—something that you repeat in a similar fashion at each feeding time. Your infant will likely not settle into a schedule until around four months old (and even then it’s always changing). However, your routines can start at birth. Even if you choose to parent with a very flexible schedule, you can incorporate routines into your day.
When you start a routine during infancy, you will create a firm foundation for processes and expectations as your child grows. You will want routines that are predictable, consistent, and clear based on the individual needs of your infant.
Also, remember that as infants grow their needs and abilities change, so you can adjust as you go. Even with the best laid plans, there are things out of your control and routines may be interrupted. That’s okay! Acknowledge it’s different then move forward. No two days are alike.
AN EXAMPLE: DIAPERING
Now that you understand the importance of routines for your baby, let’s go through an example of a diapering routine. Remember, it is about creating a sequence of events that help your child understand what is happening and what will happen in the future.
Say what you are going to do. Tell your baby you are getting ready to change their diaper.
Get all your supplies ready. Wipes, a dry diaper, ointment, hand sanitizer, a disposal bag, a washable toy for your baby to play with, whatever else you may need.
Walk to your baby and tell them you are ready to change their diaper. Tell them you are going to pick them up and bring them to the changing area. If this is a new routine, you may need to move slowly and pick them up as you talk to them. If this is an established routine, wait for them to give you a cue they are ready, then pick them up.
Bring your baby to the changing area.
Tell your baby what you are doing. “First I am going to take your pants off. Now I will undo the two tabs, so I can take your diaper off. I am going to wipe your bottom. The wipes might be cold…” It is important for your infant to hear what’s happening. This engages them in the process You can also ask for participation: “Will you lift your legs up?” By creating this routine now, you are setting the expectation that your child is an active participant in diaper changes, which is especially helpful with mobile infants and toddlers.
Wash their hands and return them to their play area. Once you have changed your infant’s diaper and washed their hands (another good routine to start young!), return them to their play area as you clean up the diapering area and wash your own hands.
ADDITIONAL TIMES TO CREATE A ROUTINE:
Bedtime: Perhaps include a bath, a massage with lotion, feeding, and reading a bedtime story or singing a song.
Meals: A feeding routine with an infant can look like: siting in the same chair, using the same nursing pillow or blanket, ending with rubbing their back (for a burp).
Once your infant is eating solids, include them in family meal times. This is a great way to learn and practice healthy eating habits, communication, manners, patience, etc.
Bathing: Have all supplies ready and wash their body in the same order.
GETTING STARTED
Start with small steps. You cannot create all routines in one day. Start with one, see how it goes, adjust it as necessary, and then choose another.
The routine that you will likely notice the biggest change with is introducing a bedtime routine. Once your infant is used to it, you will hopefully notice everyone in the house is more relaxed at bedtime, sleeps better, and is happier during the day. If infants stay up too late, they are likely to be overtired, which actually works against your routine and gets in the way of a good night’s sleep. Aim to start the routine at or before the first tired cue appears.
Remember—you will need to adjust your routines. As children grow and life changes happen, routines change too. When this occurs talk about the new routine. Be flexible, yet clear and consistent
